If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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