Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
