Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
