I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
