You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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