So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
