how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
