i just google imaged poop.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
