After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize