He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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