i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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