Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
