I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
