i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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