The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
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