Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
