Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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