Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
