Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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