Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just high enough for therapy.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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