I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Success! We fucked roommates!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
