I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can feel your judgement through the phone
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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