for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
