I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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