i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize