She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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