I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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