Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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