We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
