I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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