she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
