This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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