Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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