so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
