she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
