So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I could fuck to npr.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
