It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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