Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
