I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
