I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
