Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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