I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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