Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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