We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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