Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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