We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize