wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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