The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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