I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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