i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I am midnight drunk by noon
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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