so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
