I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
