no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize