Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
