love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize