You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
sarcasm needs its own font
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
