then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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