dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
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