We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
