see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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