Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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