saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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