It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
