i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
