what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
