god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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