last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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