I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
