Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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